FEATURED REVIEW.............................................................12 DEC 2005
 |
Artist:
RYAN ADAMS |
Ryan Adams is not exceptionally prolific. Sure, he's released three albums in the past eight months, but plenty of songwriters can churn out forty-odd tunes inside a year. Other songwriters, however, have the good sense to hire an editor.
Now, before all you Ryanatics get your panties in a bunch and run screaming to our feedback page, read on. We know it's hip to hate the Tousled One, but we don't want to jump on that bandwagon just yet. We do, however, want to make an observation: had Adams culled the twelve strongest tracks from the four discs of demos he released this year (the double LP Cold Roses, Jacksonville City Nights, and 29) and had he returned to the studio to recut a single, congruous album, the result would indubitably be on everyone's short list for "Album of the Year."
29 won't be on anyone's short list. Yes, there are a couple of listenable tracks on the disc--the rambling eight-minute ballad "Strawberry Wine," and the Whiskeytown sound-alike "Carolina Rain" among them--but on the whole, 29 is nothing more than a few lumps of cheeze packed in forgettable filler.
The first notably caseous track on the album is "Night Birds," which violates our directive regading the use of echo effects. [See the Cheezeball Manifesto, § 3.k.] "We were supposed to rise above," Adams sings, "but we sink...[cue horiffic echo effect]...into the ocean, into the ocean, into the ocean." You don't say.
"Blue Sky Blues" follows, and it appears as though Ryan Adams has finally given in to all the people at his shows who shout out requests for songs by Bryan Adams. Schlocky, overproduced, replete with hokey sound effects and swelling strings, "Blue Sky Blues" is arguably the album's low point (with the overwrought, Esteban-inspired "Sadness" a close second). The Bryan Adams reference is no joke--give the song a listen. The couplet "cause I know I'll lose what's left of my mind / I can't win, but for you I will try" sounds for all the world as if it has been lifted directly out of the middle school dance standard "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You." (Don't believe us? Here's a short clip, Bryan followed by Ryan--it's the same damn song, right down to the synth strings; it's just in a different key.)
In summation: If you're going to buy one Ryan Adams release this year, don't make it this one: both Cold Roses and Jacksonville City Nights are stronger albums. Two-and-a-half cheezeballs for channeling his namesake from the north and other assorted nonsense.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A NOTE ON THE RATING SYSTEM:
5 CHEEZEBALLS = UNLISTENABLE SCHLOCK
3 CHEEZEBALLS = A DIFFICULT SLOG
1 CHEEZEBALL = THE ODD FORGIVABLE MISSTEP
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------