SERIOUSLY. CHECK OUT THESE LYRICS.
THE TOUSLED ONE IS TAKING A PISS:

+ + + + +

"DRUNK AS A PILE OF F*CK, ON F*CK,
AND THE SANDS OF TIME ARE BURNING HOLES
IN STATUESQUE PARADIGM
OF ILLUSION MAKER WATCHMAKER.

IF THE SILENCE OF MACHINERY
SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,
THEN MAYBE WIND BLOW YOU BACK HOME
TO THE ASSEMBLY LINE OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE.
DRUNK AS A PILE OF F*CK."

RYAN ADAMS - "DRUNK AS A PILE OF F*CK"

+ + + + +

FOR A LISTEN, HEAD OVER TO CARDINAL RADIO
AND SELECT THE ALBUM HILLBILLY JOEL.
"DRUNK AS A PILE OF F*CK" IS TRACK 9.

"AND I THINK BY NOW,
THERE'S ENOUGH BLOOD ON THE FLOOR,
TO JUSTIFY THE END,
TO THIS MEANINGLESS WAR."

- BEN WEAVER, "WHATEVER YOU WANT TO HAUNT YOU"

"...just what the f*ck ARE we celebrating here? (Sorry, kids, just had to get that out.) Now that alt. country has killed country music (after saving it), and beaten that damn dead horse's balls paper-sack flat on the Bakersfield pavement, can we move on?"

- KEVIN GORDON [WWW.KEVINGORDON.NET]

"AH, THE QUADS ARE FULL OF DOPE FIENDS,
BLOWN WHORES, METHAMPHETAMINES,
BALL-CAPPED BOYS AND GAMBLING,
AND ALL THIS SORT OF STUFF."

- GREG BROWN, "FAIRFIELD"

"I won't be drinkin' purple Kool-aid
with the 700 Club."

DREW LANDRY - "SALT WATER TEARS"

WE ARE PROUD TO INTRODUCE OUR NEW
DO-IT-YOURSELF RECORD LABEL. INFO HERE.

WE'VE GOT A CD FOR SALE - CHECK IT OUT.

"And poetry's sh*t and the best that I've written
will all be forgot when I die."

TRES CHICAS - "RED"

"If they don't like what you're thinkin',
They can always read your mail."

THE MENDOZA LINE - "NAME NAMES"

"Changin’ colors into numbers,
Zeros and ones are all the rage,
The past is changin’ while you slumber,
You can’t believe the written page,

I don’t know what to believe,
When history gets rewrit,
They’re sayin’ Nixon was a good man,
They say the stamp proves it,
Don’t believe that sh*t."

Red Star Belgrade, “Nixon Stamp”

"Now granny she's yelling she's ready to eat,
She's havin' conniptions 'cause they won't take their seats,
But she's got 'em all gathered now under one roof,
With her camcorder loaded, she's gonna get proof,
But do you have to wear that, well I just don't see why,
Please pass the potatoes, aw eat sh*t and die,
Did you hear about Ellen, she's leaving you know,
How 'bout those Packers, think it'll snow?
And the minute it's over they'll scatter like quail,
Off down the freeway in the teeth of a gale,
Silent and shattered and numb to the core,
They count themselves lucky they got through one more holiday."

James McMurtry, "Holiday"

"So let 'em eat jellybeans, let 'em eat cake,
Let 'em eat sh*t, whatever it takes."

James McMurtry, "You Can't Make It Here"

"Used to be a bunch of spray paint
underneath there. Still is.
Supposed to say, 'I LOVE SATAN.'
It says, 'I LOVE SATIN.'
That's some stupid sh*t."

Scott H. Biram, "I See the Light/What's His Name?"

VIDEOS OF "TWO HEARTS" AND "PEARLS ON A STRING"
FROM THE RECORDING SESSIONS OF EASY TIGER.

05 MARCH 2007 - PARADISO - AMSTERDAM

"Terri Gibbs is blind, idiot! Maybe you ought to do some research before you insult people."
- ANONYMOUS EMAIL

What? Terri Gibbs is blind? Are you serious?
(And we thought the big dark glasses were
just a fashion statement...)

Listen, buddy, we're equal opportunity casters-of-aspersion here at cheezeball.net. What makes you think the blind are sacrosanct? (And besides, we didn't even make a joke about Terri's blindness. You want a blind joke? Check out what we said about Ronnie Milsap in Bad Album Covers, Gallery 8.)

Artist: MATTHEW GRIMM & THE RED SMEAR Album: DAWN'S EARLY APOCALYPSE Label: GRIMM REALITY Release Date: 16 MAY 2006

Hangdogs frontman Matthew Grimm is hitting the road with his new band Matthew Grimm & the Red Smear in support of their brand new release Dawn's Early Apocalypse:

MAY 09 IOWA CITY, IA @ The Mill
MAY 10 SPRINGFIELD, MO @ Outland
MAY 11 DENTON, TX @ Dan's Silver Leaf
MAY 12 DALLAS, TX @ The AllGood Cafe
MAY 13 SAN ANTONIO, TX @ Limelight
MAY 14 AUSTIN, TX @ Ego's
MAY 15 ALBUQUERQUE, NM @ Atomic Cantina
MAY 18 LAS VEGAS, NV @ Double Down Saloon
MAY 19 LOS ANGELES, CA @ The Mint
MAY 20 PANAMINT SPRINGS, CA @ Doug Stanhope's Bash
MAY 21 PANAMINT SPRINGS, CA @ Doug Stanhope's Bash
MAY 23 LAS VEGAS, NV @ Tommy Rocker's
MAY 24 SAN JOSE, CA @ Johnny V's
MAY 25 RENO, NV @ Fritz Bar & Grill
MAY 26 BOISE, ID @ Neurolux
MAY 27 OGDEN, UT @ Brewski's
MAY 28 DENVER, CO @ Bender's [tentative]
MAY 31 IOWA CITY, IA @ Gabe's

MATTHEW GRIMM & THE RED SMEAR - HOMEPAGE
MATTHEW GRIMM & THE RED SMEAR @ MYSPACE.COM
THE NEW ALBUM - "IT'S A CRACKER" @ MILES OF MUSIC

"Now there's a woman who knows how to hate."
--RICHARD M. NIXON ON BARBARA BUSH

"What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway--this is, this is working very well for them."
--BARBARA BUSH ON THE VICTIMS OF HURRICANE KATRINA

"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture--it's really a stupid thing to want to do."
ELVIS COSTELLO

FEEL LIKE DOING SOMETHING STUPID?
WE ARE NOW ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS.