We're a month late and flat f*cking broke, but what the hell, it's time to hand out the hardware. As you're certain to be sick to death of "top ten" lists by now, we thought we'd begin with a handful of rather idiosyncratic honors. So, without futher ado . . .
The "What the Hell Is Wrong with Those Idiots at Cheezeball.net Award" goes to . . . Drag the River, for their 2006 release It's Crazy. Somehow we flat missed that one. It's a damn fine album, and if our heads hadn't been irretrievably lodged in our own asses, we'd have included the disc on our "Best of 2006" run-down. Go find yourself a copy.
The "Best Unsolicited Submission Award" goes to . . . Jon Itkin for his album Big Gold Guitar in the Sky. We hadn't heard of Jon Itkin until his disc showed up in the Cheezeball.net mailroom, and we're mighty happy he sent it along. One of the highlights of 2007 (and that's saying something, because it was a good year for Americana music).
The "Oh, Sh*t, Now We're Going to Have to Rename 'The Dion' Award" goes to . . . Dion, for his album Son of Skip James. A couple of years ago, we decided to name our annual award for the most unlikely cheeze-free release after Dion DiMucci, in honor of his entirely unexpected Bronx in Blue (read our review). This year Dion followed Bronx in Blue with Son of Skip James, another engaging collection of blues standards and originals. While the disc ultimately is quite listenable, Dion serves it up with a side of Christer. Sure, there's a long tradition of mixing the blues with your sacred whatnot, but Dion's ridiuclous "Inderlude" (a silly solliquy on Dylan, Pope John Paul II, and the Holy Spirit) is needless schlock. "The Dion" is no longer "The Dion." Praise Cheezeus. (And reviewer Thom Jurek, damn his hide, can shut the hell up.)
The "Oh My God, This Has Got to Be the Worst F*cking Album of the Year Award" goes to . . . Joni Mitchell, for the abomination she squezed out in September. Shine is irredeemable, a schlock-filled sh*t-fest. And no, we don't just hate her because she's old. Levon Helm is old and a survivor of throat cancer, but Dirt Farmer was a decent disc. Even John Fogerty managed a listenable release this past year. But Joni? She's run off the rails, and this one has cheeze enough to choke a goat.
The "Catastrophically Bad Track on an Otherwise Decent Album Award" goes to . . . Bright Eyes for "Make a Plan to Love Me" on Cassadega. Holy crap! Was that a joke? If this kid's not careful, Joni Mitchell might start covering his sh*t.
The "Catastrophically Bad Track on a Marginally Decent Album Award" goes to . . . Neil Young for "The Way" on Chrome Dreams II. The damn song is Rodgers and Hammerstein with a children's chorus. F*cking awful. Calculated to make you remember that Neil Young is the dude who recorded Trans and Are You Passionate?
The "We Know This Isn't Alt.Country, but We Still Dig It Award" is shared this year by . . . The Shins, whose Wincing the Night Away includes the infectious "Phantom Limb" and the almost-Americana closer "A Comet Appears," and Radiohead, whose In Rainbows got more publicity than any album--even one as good as this--deserves.
And, if you're still with us, our top ten lists . . . |
