#1. LEONARD COHEN -
DEAR HEATHER

This isn't even alt.country. Why the hell do I keep seeing "alt.country" references to it? Pure, unadulterated schlock. 6 cheezeballs (and the scale only goes to 5).

#2. NORAH JONES -
FEELS LIKE HOME

This isn't alt.country either. Shame on you, No Depression--this isn't even "whatever." Yes, Ms. Jones is absolutely adorable, but this is an easy-listening album.

#3. OLLABELLE -
OLLABELLE

Pretentious. Self-indulgent. Quick, somebody slap a bushel over their little lights.

#4. TIFT MERRITT -
TAMBOURINE

Someone's trying to go "mainstream." Nashville can have her. (And those damn horns. Jesus.)

#5. KASEY CHAMBERS -
WAYWARD ANGEL

Can anyone say "Pop Country"? This little Aussie is made for CMT.

#6. JON DEE GRAHAM -
THE GREAT BATTLE

Oh, Lord. Listen to "Majesty of Love." Sample lyrics: "The majesty of love / Nothing else matters next to this / Baby's breath and the very first kiss." I'm going to vomit.

#7. WILLIE NELSON -
IT WILL ALWAYS BE

No, Willie, it won't. We love you, but eveything you touch does not turn to gold. Even Lucinda can't save this record. (And by the way, "and friends" albums are always a bad idea.)

#8. IRIS DeMENT -
LIFELINE

Writer's block? We didn't need this.

#9. VARIOUS -
BEAUTIFUL DREAMER: THE SONGS OF STEPHEN FOSTER

I am sick to death of "tribute albums." Of the twenty or so I heard this past year, this one wins. Or loses. Whatever.

#10. BUDDY MILLER -
UNIVERSAL UNITED HOUSE OF PRAYER

See review.